Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
