So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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