Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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