Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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