Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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