it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
