did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
