Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
