so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
