Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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