It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
