He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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