My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
