Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
