Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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