Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
