She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
