shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
