he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
