I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize