She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
