I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
