Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize
