Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
