His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
