shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize