i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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