She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
