He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
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