Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I can text with my tongue
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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