Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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