I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize