Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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