so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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