I seem to have left my pride at pride
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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