dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize