When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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