No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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