I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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