Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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