Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
In America we eat man semen.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
