the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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