what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize