awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
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A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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