I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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