I'm eating all of the evidence.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We left an ass print on the piano.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize