I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
this must be what syphilis tastes like
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
