2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
