***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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