the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
