Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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