i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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