She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
