i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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