If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
