I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
