My Higher Power is John Stamos
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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