Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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