my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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