dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
