Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
