this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize