I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
