"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
