i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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