She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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