You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
