My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
