i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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