So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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