The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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