Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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