Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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