I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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