She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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