So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
