dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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